Time to Pop ‘The Question’’

Which puts us at a distinct disadvantage when thinking about how to propose. We don’t daydream about our wedding day. We don’t flip through wedding magazines, trying to imagine ourselves as the guy in every tuxedo ad. We don’t mute the football game to talk wedding plans with other guys—and forget to unmute the game. The upshot is we’ve spent roughly the length of one commercial break on ESPN thinking about how to propose.

The girl we intend to ask, on the other hand, has been thinking about it for years. Not only that, while you can’t wait to get it over with and move on to the main event, SHE WILL REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE!!!

And when that realization hits, most guys’ natural reaction is to curl up in terror. “Can’t I just slide the ring into a bubble-wrap envelope with a nice card from Walgreen’s and deliver it to her UPS’”

No. You can’t.

But you can come talk to Matt or me. We were you once. (And our wives have never let us forget it.) But unlike you, we spend large parts of our days talking with our female customers about this and that. You know, getting to know them. And over the years, we’ve learned a thing or two about women-about-to-be-proposed-to that we’d be happy to pass on to you. It’s a no-pressure atmosphere, in a situation-appropriate setting, where guys can talk to guys about the stuff guys almost never talk about.

It might save you from embarrassing yourself by trying one of the suggestions you’ll find on the internet, like for instance:

“Spell your proposal out in glow-in-the-dark star stickers on your ceiling. Get into bed, turn the lights off and wait for the gasp.”

Or the slap.